2010, turning over a new...hot dog

hot dogs really hit the spot sometimes.

2009 was filled with school, work, teaching, new friends, shows, music, doctor appointments, dexterities, more sbthh time, lots of family time etc etc
everyone gives me a lot of crap for not being around as much as i used to but i just wanted to spend my extra time with my family. my parents are becoming my best friends, my sister is cool, and my brother is the best kid i know. love them all to death.
so-
i feel like i have really come into my own within the past year.
i'm at the point where i'm overworking myself, but i kinda actually like it? weird right? after this year i hope i'll be able to find a job and start working toward my future like i have been planning to do. i'm so anxious to graduate (haha i feel like i've been saying that for years!) and start things for myself. on the other hand...im a little nervous for taking the second praxis-i have to brush up on my art history son! god knows im terrible with that! go figure, an art teacher who is awful with art history hahah
i booked a trip to go visit kev's sister in the virgin islands. i'm really stoked for the trip since the other one fell through with the cruise. i haven't really been anywhere and i guess this is a start..it'll be nice to be on an island somewhere ...i know i won't ever want to come back

i moved in with b and everything is just like it was before-i didnt really think much would change, except all of my things would just be in a more convient spot haha. he really is the best and i'm the happiest i have ever been:)i will marry him someday
i like where i am in life and i really feel like this year will be an important one for me. yey to 2010 already:)

i really hope

you dont end up marrying him.

cath? or someone else

It seems that you live in someone else's dream
in a hand-me-down wedding dress
with the things that could have been are repressed
but you said your vows and you closed the door
On so many men who would have loved you more

please.

someone please give me strength.
im going to lose it on everyone today.

da da da dum

i feel like there has been so much wedding talk lately.
i got asked last night how i would like to be proposed to
and i felt weird even answering that question.
i have this idea in my head that i know will never happen
and ill end up getting proposed to while eating chinese food or burritos or something.
it made me realize that maybe im not as ready as i always thought i was.
hmmm.

i feel bad

but i cant stand kev's dog.
i dont know what it is-i thought he was cute the night we picked him up. i dont know what happened after that. i cant stand that he climbs all over anything and everyone and does has he pleases. he obviously wasnt trained to do certain things otherwise he wouldnt jump and run on everything and people would just be able to let him out rather than tend to him every second of the day. thats just annoying.anyway, thats not the point of me writing this, the point was that i feel really bad for hating something that kevin likes so much. i know it makes him happy and thats the only thing that matters. i love kev but i cant wait til tuesday so i can get away from a lot of things that bother me in that house and im not just talking about the dog..

6 days and counting.

good grief.

i want to read old love letters from the war to see what romance used to be like.

or to see if romance even exists at all.

printer/scanner

if anyone-or who knows of anyone- who is getting rid of an old typewriter let me know.highly interested. thanks.



typewriter tip, tip, tip.

having the flu with nothing else to do...

lately i have been writing a lot
im not writing it down
im writing it up-
in my head










i need to start documenting everything
but im afraid to sometimes.
they always come back to haunt me later
and end up making me feel worse.

i think ive decided
im going to buy a mini journal today.